IFS (Internal Family Systems) has been popping up all over my feed lately. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD as an adult because I was struggling with symptoms like overwhelm, emotional reactivity, and self-sabotage in my time management. Can IFS Coaching help with my ADHD symptoms?
In recent years, there has been exponential growth in the numbers of adults– especially women– diagnosed with ADHD. Symptoms like brain fog, performance anxiety, emotional reactivity, sensory overwhelm are driving people to learn more about themselves and seek support. Many are also finding relief in learning that ADHD is not a mental illness or something wrong with you on the inside. Rather, it is a form of neurodiversity that has to do with the way your brain is wired. Support for ADHD symptoms can take many forms. Popular treatment methods include exploring medications for neurological support, therapy or ADHD coaching for behavioral and psychological support, and even physical support such as nutrition, exercise, and supplements.
The Internal Family Systems (IFS) model has also been shown to be effective as part of a larger treatment plan, particularly for the following ADHD symptoms:
- ADHD overwhelm and burnout. By getting to know the parts of you that feel sensory overwhelm or burnout, we can begin to learn how they work in your life and why. By hearing from and attending to the needs of these parts, we can develop a more natural capacity to name when we’re in ADHD overwhelm or burnout, as well as tap into our inner wisdom about how to move out of it.
- Co-occurring distress like high functioning anxiety or depression. ADHD commonly co-occurs with parts of us who might be overthinking, feeling anxiety, or fall into depression. Through IFS work, we can learn about these distressed parts and their roles inside of us. That learning can bring greater compassion and a sense of inner safety in the presence of anxiety or depression symptoms.
- Emotional reactivity/emotion regulation are another category of symptoms often experienced by people with ADHD. IFS coaching can help us learn why parts of us react so strongly with shame, or why it’s so difficult for us to remain calm in the face of a loved one’s gentle prodding and poking. As we learn what impacts our parts, we can also learn how to give them more space inside so that they don’t hijack our systems. We can also tap into our deep inner wisdom about how to bring more calm in these situations. IFS coaching is a really powerful way of seeing and caring for the parts of you that experience emotional dysregulation.
- Trauma. ADHD and trauma share a complicated and often intertwined relationship. While many with ADHD have experienced big T Traumas, it is also true that adults recently diagnosed with ADHD may be coming to terms with a lifetime of little t traumas. These might include internalized fears and concerns about what is “wrong” inside– why things seem to be more difficult for them than others, etc. To be clear, these feelings are not due to any defect inside of someone with ADHD. Rather, they come from social systems and strong social messages that neurodiverse parts of people have internalized. IFS coaching can help us get real clarity on the messages we have taken in from society that are actually not coming from our own defects. Sitting with younger parts of ourselves who were overcorrected or unseen in systems like school, work, or family can help us bring compassion and understanding to our parts that leads to deep healing.
- Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). RSD often co-occurs with ADHD and is described as a heightened response to rejection and heightened perception of rejection (even when you may not actually be rejected). Some describe it as a feeling of being punched in the gut when you perceive feelings of failure or social rejection, and it often comes along with strong, regular feelings of shame or embarrassment. In IFS coaching, we explore this set of parts to learn how to best heal any burdens they are carrying from past experiences and to create more space for you in moments when you experience RSD.
- The Shame Cycle and Self-Sabotaging Parts. Often, the parts of us that hold shame are triggered more easily and more often in a neurodivergent brain with ADHD. This can cause us to lash out in defensiveness or even sabotage ourselves in work and relationships in order to stay safe and avoid feelings of failure, badness, or unworthiness. Through IFS coaching, we can being to recognize how these parts of us operate. By bringing deep mindfulness to their existence within us and learning the patterns and strategies these parts of us often partake in, we can find and heal more vulnerable parts that hold significant shame and offer internal compassion to our ashamed parts. This leads to greater calm and confidence in our daily lives and struggles with the feeling of shame.
https://www.capitalcrescentcollective.com/request-a-consultation/If you are ready to get started with IFS as a tool to support your ADHD symptoms, reach out for a free consultation. The IFS Coaches at Capital Crescent Collective are looking forward to working with you. (Sliding scale fees may be available.) Also, for more information on this topic, check out this podcast from ADDitude Mag.
This post was written by Crissa Stephens, PhD, an experienced IFS coach and independent practitioner at Capital Crescent Collective in Bethesda, MD.