“People keep saying Autism and ADHD aren’t bad, so why do I feel so stressed? What if it feels hard to have my neurotype?”
A lot of hard work from our communities has been paying off. It’s easier than ever to find neurodiversity-affirming information and support for Autistic pride. Part of accepting ourselves means honoring that the impact of our traits, just like everyone else’s, depends on context. There is so much to love about being Autistic or having ADHD, and you don’t have to love every experience that comes with it. Since we live in a world primarily built with Allistic traits in mind, it is not uncommon for neurodivergent people to feel stressed from this mismatch. But what does that mean?
Back again to our car analogy! (Part 1 and Part 2 of this analogy, see links.)
The most common type of car is a gas car, and as a result our systems are built with that in mind. Gas stations are easy to find, a regular mechanic knows how to service these cars, and replacement parts are easy to source. Electric cars have a lot of advantages, but not nearly as many resources to maintain them. Charging stations are farther between, specialist mechanics may be booked out for a long time and are still learning as they go, and information may be harder to source when there is a quirk or issue. This means that even though damage can happen to any car, electric cars may not get the same resources for preventing and fixing damage.
Just like any car could run out of fuel or experience wear and tear, a person with any neurotype can experience stress, depression, or anxiety. Just like any car could have an accident, any person can go through trauma or have an illness. Allistic people, ADHDers, and Autistic people can all have hardships in life and deserve support. Neurodivergent people, however, might experience more stigma or environmental stress in life, receive access to fewer supports and coping tools, and have a harder time finding information and healthcare that meets their needs when something difficult happens.
For many people who did not learn their neurotype until later in life, stressful experiences have accumulated along with little support to manage them. This leads to burnout, depression, and more. If this feels like you, know that life can feel better, and we are here to help.
Whether you are still making sense of your experiences and would like an Adult Autism Evaluation, or have had to navigate this stress on your own for too long and would like to try therapy with a neurodiversity-affirming provider, we are excited to meet you when you feel ready to reach out.
Want to learn more about neurodiversity-affirming therapy? Contact Capital Crescent Collective today to schedule a consultation.
This post was written by Anna White, an experienced, neurodiversity-affirming independent therapist at Capital Crescent Collective in Bethesda, MD.