“I’ve been hearing people on social media talk about “parts work” or getting “IFS Coaching.” What does that mean? How can this type of personal development work help me?”
The language of “parts” is naturally intuitive – we might say, “part of me is excited to go to the party, and another part of me would really prefer to stay at home.” It makes sense that we have multiple goals, drives, or preferences within our one brain.
Internal Family Systems (IFS), one of the most researched and scientifically studied frameworks for parts work, was developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz. IFS is transformative, efficient, flexible, and effective. It is useful for virtually any issue someone might be struggling with – from therapeutic purposes like trauma healing, to personal development goals like inner peace and confidence. IFS is non-pathologizing, meaning it doesn’t view you as a diagnosis or a problem. Instead, the IFS model sees each person as a calm, confident, courageous whole capable of bringing self-leadership and healing to your inside world.
IFS looks at our minds as multiple, or made up of many different parts. These parts have different goals, concerns, and strategies about how they accomplish things. IFS holds that there are no bad parts (see the book No Bad Parts by Dr. Richard Schwartz). Your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors often represent strategies that younger parts of you are using to keep you safe, successful, and protected in the world around you. Take again, for example, that example about whether to attend a party this weekend. A part of you may want to go, while another part of you pulls you to stay home and relax, then another part feels guilty about maybe letting the host down… these parts with competing goals and ideas make up a kind of internal family inside of you. And just like a family system in the real world, each part has predictable roles and reactions inside of our own internal system.
We often experience the chatter and pull of our different parts all day long without necessarily being conscious of why they are doing what they’re doing inside. While our parts are often very helpful to us, there are times when they can run the show, causing internal stress or external reactivity. Our parts sometimes lead us to act in ways that we may not understand or would not consciously choose. Sometimes we may even find that a very young, wounded part of us is driving our system and hijacking our adult experiences. What can help these parts to shift and relax is a calm, compassionate, and confident inner leader– your Self energy.
In IFS coaching, we get to know the motivations, dreams, and burdens of each part and build your access to Self-leadership so that you can approach life’s challenges from a place of connectedness with your own purpose, inner wisdom, and courage. We can build and access the experience Self-leadership in areas such as
- navigating a life crossroads
- making big personal or professional decisions
- balancing work and parenting
- providing rest for caregiving parts or increasing our self-care
- finding connection in times of grief
- learning to approach activism and advocacy with calm and confidence
- coping with challenging times
- healing trauma
- supporting ADHD
- addressing burnout
- rewiring your nervous system
- working through personal or professional blocks you are experiencing
In the IFS model, you are the expert on your own system. Your coach guides, facilitates, supports, and co-creates towards your goals. It may be very different from any therapy or coaching you’ve tried – IFS feels more like a guided meditation where your therapist or coach is an experienced facilitator. If you are curious about your own parts and how they show up in your life, or if you are seeking to lead your personal life, relationships, or career from a place of connectedness within, IFS coaching is for you. To experience a bit of IFS for yourself, check out these free IFS meditations. When you’re ready for more support, reach out to us here at Capital Crescent Collective. We’re ready to help you experience IFS in the presence of a knowledgeable and compassionate guide.
This post was written by Crissa Stephens, PhD, an experienced IFS coach and independent practitioner at Capital Crescent Collective in Bethesda, MD.